This is just my way of letting it all out without caring who is reading or watching.

These are a bunch of random unorganized thoughts. Sort of like a mirror of my mind.
Background Illustrations provided by: http://edison.rutgers.edu/

I give God “but” and He gives me “anyway”.

I should be giving you more but…
I know this is wrong but…
I should go but…
I should do this but…

He returns
I love you anyway
I’ll protect you anyway
Here’s my mercy in abundance anyway
I know you don’t mean it but there’s that 1,000,000th chance anyway

I miss you…

I feel very off balance and not myself when I don’t feel anchored in God.  When I’ve drifted off and started to think that everything is my own doing and not God’s grace.  When praying and reading my bible is now an after thought.  When going to choir practice becomes a chore.  I can always refuel.  The position of the gas station didn’t change, I just need to go get it.

Back to Basics…

To whom much is given much is expected.  We are extremely lucky to not be living in places around the world where all they’ve literally got to cling to is their faith in God.  That’s what keeps them sane and hopeful.  In a way, they have more of a reason to believe that there is no God that loves them while they are going through all that they do. It could’ve been any of us. Why weren’t we born in those places? And if we were why did we get to leave while others are facing turmoil and death everyday? We’ll never be able to comprehend it. Instead of using all we have: the technology, money, power and freedom to praise God and just simply be grateful, we use those things to justify why we don’t need God. To continue in our “self-made” attitude.  To whom much is given much is expected. God will ask.  That’s why it says in Matthew 19:23-24 that it is painfully hard for a rich man to make heaven. Not because wealth is bad but because we start trusting it instead of God.  We can easily trust our bonus and jobs for our next meal while others in those places can ONLY trust God. 

We have to live life realizing we CANNOT and shouldn’t even try doing anything without Him.

Love is slow to suspect but quick to trust; slow to condemn but quick to justify; slow to offend but quick to defend; slow to expose but quick to shield; slow to reprimand but quick to empathize; slow to belittle but quick to appreciate; slow to demand but quick to give; slow to provoke but quick to help; slow to resent but quick to forgive By Word for you today.

Walk with Christ…

I’m at that point in my life where I’m just doing things.  I know where God wants me to be and some i’m terrified of and others i’m not ready for and I keep doing a bunch of little things to get me there but it’s not enough. There’s this hunger and burning desire inside of me but i’m too busy or just lazy to fill it. I know God’s mercies and love are new every morning but I need to be more proactive with my walk.  I can’t and shouldn’t go a day without talking to him- not talking AT him. Talking TO him, WITH him.  Waiting to listen but I do and that’s not how a relationship should be.

Please give me the grace to fix it God.